The smell of your coffee
Your first morning message
Your days long and tiring

Visits to your brother
Morning meetings
Your plans for tomorrow

What am I having for lunch?
A smile, maybe a giggle
And you leaping off my screen

Is it time to go already?
Your goodnight and sleep well
Touches my face in soft blue light

And I am not exactly sure how
I have come to this place of yearning
that leaves me lost in the silences in between.

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I am your mother.

Your biggest fan.
Your greatest defender.
Your loudest cheerleader.
Your truest Love.

I am your mother.

I will stand before you in battle,
Behind you in your success.
I will hold your hand
if you are afraid.
Kiss your bruises away.
Battle your monsters.

I am your mother.

I will laugh with you.
Cry with you.
I will stand with you always.

I am your mother.

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white king chess piece on chess board

Photo by Pixabay on

The chasm of years yawned ahead
filled with the grey shards
of broken rainbows
never to be smoothed by
the touch of friendship.

She understood then
that motherhood and womanhood
cannot coexist in the same hollow
of the same breast.

In their bloody battle,
One must die
so the other can live.

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By day, I fit into society’s expectation –
calm, proper, controlled, professional.
But by night….oh the gloves come off,
The mask is removed and the party begins!!!

I am the voracious consumer of words.
My appetite grows with each bite.

I gorge myself on
The deep spiritual writings of the Toni Morrisons.
I bathe in the rumbling tears of the Maya Angelous.
I skate across the broken dreams of the Octavia Butlers.
And we dance all night to every rhythm.

Then the dawn breaks
And I rip off my wings,
powder my face
and get ready
for another day in the system,
knowing that the night will come
and I can do it all over again!!!

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She had seen it
Knew it like a second skin

It had walked with her as she left childhood.
Wove a gypsy’s promise into her hair
as she said her wedding vows.
It climbed into bed with her,
Drooled on her pillow
Left her toilet seat up.

She knew it.

She saw it in furtive glances
over well-kissed fingers.
Heard it in hushed advances that
swept vows under rugs of excuses
carelessly draped around shoulders of
Unloveable wives.

She saw it written on the prescription bottles
of happy pills
that prop up crumbling happily-ever-afters.

She saw it tied with the bow
of every gift
mixed with the icing on every cake.

She always hopes to be disappointed
But she knows it
Like a second skin.

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I saw the storm
in the first gentle breeze
Before the wind even
gave it birth

I saw the flood
in the first rain drop
before the Earth
even quenched its own thirst

I saw thirty pieces of silver
in the first tender smile
Before the coins
were even cast.

I felt the lies
in your first kiss
before you knew
there were secrets to hide

The truth seeks me.
It knows I am not afraid.

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Painted your dreams
In my skies
Then you sailed on by
Whispered your screams
In my ear
Then you sang your lullabies
Once I slept
To the sound of your heartbeat
Now I only dream
In the sound of your voice

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